when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
