I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Randomize
