If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
