This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
this hospital has no fireball
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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