I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize