just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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