Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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