so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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