i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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