I could have mohawked her pubes.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
