Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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