Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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