Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
