I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
just come out here and I will go home with you...
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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