Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
