I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize