Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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