my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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