im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
