i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize