Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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