vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
