I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
