You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
