Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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