we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
