I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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