I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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