Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
