They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So much Jack, so little girl.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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