I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
