i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
