That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
