She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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