how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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