There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
