Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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