ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
