You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
