last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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