Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
