I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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