I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
