if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
