What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
