We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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