That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize