So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
