'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize