God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
3pm strippers are depressing
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
