come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
