this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize
