just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
