my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
