well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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