Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
