I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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