Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
