Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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