and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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