allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
