I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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