I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize