Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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